This one time I was 18.
I was headed to college in 3 months.
I was still a virgin.
My friend (who was 23) and I went out to dinner in Montauk.
The bar tender gave us free wine. A lot of wine. Never once checked our ID’s.
We went out with him after his shift.
I snuck into my first bar.
I had arrived.
I was emboldened by the wine.
Then, I went to pee. I had my period and only one tampon.
This would be a recurrence, getting drunk and not taking care of myself.
My bleeding body.
The cab driver was drunk, or there were beer cans in the seat’s pockets.
We went to the boys house.
My friend left me to have sex.
I blacked out,
Woke up to him shutting the door.
I’ve never had sex. No, I remember saying, I don’t want to.
He carried me to the couch.
I threw-up in his bushes the next day, taking a Uber back to the hotel, packing in haste, and boarding the Jitney, hungover and ashamed.
This was not the last time.